1:17 am

Tonight I am crying myself to sleep.. I really very sad.. :'( if I don't cry until morning I am not Yee Lan.. I'll take this time to chill and make my mind clear.. No matter what I still very love you and also I am truly sorry.. But today I really very sad..

Happy 9 Months Anniversary!

Hubby I really very happy we made it to 9 months... I really feel very guilty for not being there for our 9 months because my brother and his wife want a divorce I feel sad too.. I hope you understand how I feel.. Anyway I am really happy because we both made it to 9 months not easy ahhh.. Like world war 3 hahaha :) I just wanna say I love you like there is no tomorrow <3 Ai Si Ni Hubby!!! Muakkxxxxxx!! Honey sleep lo.. I love you!! And again HAPPY 9 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY

Sorry :(

Hubby i am really sorry ahhh, never pui until you and also never horny with you.. I'm truly sorry ahh hubby.. I don't mean to but mummy came back and my cousin also come wor I am so so so sorry.. I hope you not angry at me ya hubby.. Sorry honey really sleepy d.. Goodnight.. I love you!

I am feeling sad

Today keep help people carry things and my backbone hurting like shit.. Then hubby tell me he changing his phone with someone else I very not happy because he never value the phone that money also got my money want leh.. But nvm la he wanna change I'm okay :) I still love you hubby anyway <3

2:02 am

Today I am very sad.. Even yes I made you happy but i am not happy.. Sorry for my mistakes.. Actually I not tired i am just very sad.. I said if u love me call me and I tried making u happy but it didn't work.. At the end only it did.. But why I sad u can't make me happy? Why? U know I won't sleep u know I very heart sick.. You know I cry like hell.. What u know.. My feelings is just so hurt :'( I asked u to call me u can't even do that to make me happy.. I really feel u are bored of me.. I really very sad.. Sorry goodnight

I hate this!

You know I thought wanna let u play game? I text u "can I call you?" you don't wanna reply because you wanna deny this question.. I thought let u enjoy la but how u treat me Har? Call you some more wanna deny.. I'm sure you lie to me before, not once but many times! Just that I don't know! My stomach pain having bad time call u wanna talk to u.. Ask u permission don't wanna reply if I simply call without asking u scold... U want I how? Sorry la I not good enough!! Sorrry!!!!! Ish fucked up.. These few days keep treating you soft but how u treat me ? No use treating you soft!! Fuck my life!!

21/02/2012 :D

Today is the happiest day in 2012 so far and also the saddest at the same time.. Well it was sad beginning & happy ending.. Why I was sad because he went to Jovin's house and he didn't tell me.. He whatsapp Kah Heng and text him but not me.. But he did whatsapp me but to the fat guy ;) I was so sad to know he broke the promise :( I cried my ass off including he changing to Sri Suria people say there got leng lui.. So I'm worried and I couldn't take it I'm thinking too much and I bang my head at the wall many times to wake myself up what am I doing ? I really don't know. But at the end I'm okay :) he came and he bought me KFC spend time with me I was so so so happy that I was speechless.. In school everyone is staring maybe they think we are sweet ;) I'm sure that a lot of people admire thou.. I miss you so damn much that I don't know how to say it but it's such a joy to see you, hug you and kiss you!! I love u so much.. Thank u for the penguin, the valentines card and all the iPhone covers :) I love you so much hubby!! And the best part is you carry my bag I finally feel touched and u still hug me in front of everyone makes me feel special.. Hubby, honey ass hurts! :( hahaha now you're sleeping already you have bad headache and I'm pretty worried about you.. :'( I'm begging you to see the doctor hubby.. If I was by your side I will massage for you and hug you to sleep.. I wish you were here hubby!! Thanks for everything today since you don't want send me the picture today I'll upload when u send them to me <3 love die you ahh!!

1:33 a.m

Well I talked it out with you and tell u exactly how I feel I really never lied about anything but since you promise me all the promises I really hope you can do it.. Take care of me in the future.. I sometimes feel like I wanna hug u so tightly ahh! I just hope that if one day we can really make it to the future I wanna have a pair of puppies only >.< hehehe and thanks for making me happy even I was so down I am sure I can be okay and recover!! :)!8 love you hubby!! Goodnight <3

I miss you

I now watching tv and I really miss you because somehow I'm really sad.. It's because he got text Jovin and they talking about going out yam cha :) ya I'm happy because he have friends which are still loyal but at the same time he never ask me go along maybe with me he will feel not comfortable of anything but nvm la it's his way of thinking I can't say anything.. And watching this movie the girl became a prisoner but the guy never leave her still love her believes what she say.. But I'm sure one day he will believe me to the max.. I am just hoping that he love me more then I think he does.. Because I already decided to change for him, because I love him so much that I can't say anything anymore..

7:47

I just wanted to tell you that I got text Kah Loong I don't wanna lie to you but today our friendship had ended.. I decided not to be friends with him anymore.. Even if we are friends it wouldn't mean a single thing to me anymore.. I wanted to tell you but you said you got to go and talk to me later.. I very sad I was trying to tell the truth.. Maybe honey very stupid because honey really wanna change.. Honey wanna be the best.. Honey wanna treat you the best before anything happen and we regret one day.. I wanna make best memories :) I yesterday think think think I can't sleep and I woke up at 5 I was so scares if one day you don't want me anymore then what will happen to me? I just hope you understand I already decided to be the best I can be I hope you'll change too :') thank you

The saddest night

Today can consider a very bad bad day for me.. I'm really unhappy and all those thing that made me sad.. And also the worse thing is John sad slapped him.. John wanna change back to KL school but in one condition break up with me.. I can't take that!! It's so stupid.. Yes! Even though it is fake but still it hurts my feelings.. I don't know how to express my feelings right now but I'm so hurt and so scared.. :'( I cried too much today I'm so afraid so scared.. The happy me have to come back!! Please I wanna be happy I don't wanna cry in school tomorrow.. How i wish he knows how I feel.. How I wish hubby can hug me and surprise me in school but that will never happen.. I really afraid to sleep what if the next day he don't want me anymore? I don't wanna over think maybe I should just sleep.. Goodnight

Why?

Why today u like don't care about me? Usually I reply late you'll ask you'll scold but today you didn't instead you did not even care in return u replying late and all.. I'm very disappointed.. Maybe you're bored of me or maybe you're already interested with someone else.. Today I very angry wanna scold but I decided not to instead I kept quite like nothing's wrong but deep down I'm really unhappy.. I have nothing else to say.. 20 minutes haven't finish eating ah? Okay la maybe understand la 20 minutes it's almost one hour already la.. Haih I'm speechless you go talk to whoever u want la okay.. I'm nothing anymore <3 enjoy your life without me.. I'll just be a statue saying okay that's all.. I'm not going to scold or anything anymore I'm tired..

18/02/2012

Today I went for Avril Lavinge's concert and it was not that bad.. I know that it's my hubby's favorite singer so I thought he can join me and I went and ask if there was any extra ticket and yes they do but he can't make it.. So I wasn't that happy plus I was trying to be good to call him and ask him if he wants to hear but he was sad so nvm.. I am sorry I can't do anything better.. And also today is the first night u sleep without saying goodnight, sweet dreams and sleep tight on the phone I feel so so so sad.. It makes me feel like to u this relationship is getting more bored and also not that good anymore.. Maybe I'm over thinking :( but hope you're not bored of me.. I just don't know why u can't wait.. Maybe you're too tired.. Nvm la I wanna sleep now.. Nite love you!!

15/2/2012

For the first time that he go to school without dropping me a text and I was so worried.. During lunch he suddenly text me I straight cry.. How can he do this ? But it's okay.. :) he already said a thousand time sorry.. So I guess I am okay and about last night I'm okay with it la.. Sorry for fighting with you hubby :) I love you

Valentines Day :)

Well today it's Valentines day and of course everyone look happy but at the same time it can be the most hurtful day for those who gets rejected and from news they say it's a day where a lot of people commit suicide.. Last night was talking to hubby and he send me picture that was so sweet that I cried like the happiest woman on earth.. I was so happy happy happy.. Didn't expect he would do such nice and romantic thing for me.. I am just hoping I will pass every Valentines Day with him.. Every year, every month, every week, everyday, every hour, every minute and every second with him.. The love of my life.. Sorry hubby your present don't know can get anot if can honey give u ya.. I love u most hubby!! Even if you're phone is taken always it's also a task from god.. Don't stop believing okay ? You have me always <3 muakxxxxx!

What a day :/

Can't my day today get any worse? :( do u know how it feels ? In school I'm very unhappy seeing my friends like that and Wai Yee cried and I hate myself for being so useless and can't make people happy.. Then after school I thought wanna hear good news and talk to him with happiness.. But no! It became worse!!! His phone got confiscated, I cried I burst in to tears.. My day is already so bad now now it's crashed.. Tomorrow it's Valentines Day why why why? Why one day before a special occasion it's the worse day? Why 1 day before your both phone got confiscated? I'm speechless and heart broken.. 😭

:) Strong me

Today I tolerate you and keep manja u like 6 hours :( but at the end u ask me one question that hurts.. "wanna break up is it?" I cant take that.. Until now my heart very pain.. I really don't know what to do.. I am really very hurt.. I can't accept no matter what.. Today I promise myself not to cry anymore because I cried enough.. My heart is totally hurt by that question.. Since u say I never make u happy.. If I do then who make me happy? :'( why never care for me? Its okay.. Everything is I wrong u correct because I love u I manja u 6 hours if you.. You sure show temper ady.. Nvm la I wanna shower.. Bye I love you

12/02/2012

Today my Japanese go home and why u like that treat me ? They come on Friday now already gone.. That time those people come how long? I also tahan u la.. Why u so not understanding? I really very sad and disappointed.. Yea overall i thought after sad sad can talk to u and be happy.. What I get? Worse feelings.. U call this u love me ? Love is happiness.. What's the point of u being sad with me everyday? You like it meh? I don't like lo.. U want I no choice.. Anyway I'm really tired of u being emo everyday.. Love u anyway ❤

Spine hurting

Well yes today the japanese students came and we went to pavilion.. Met up all my friends and yeah.. I'm just not happy because my driver call me go Prada there I run from 5th floor rush down then she ask us go to water fountain wait la.. When I run out to the water fountain.. She ask me go back to Prada.. My backbone really hurts la.. I'm serious :( I running suddenly it hurts and I don't know how la.. :( I hope it's nothing la.. ;)

12/2/2012

Well Japanese girl came for the 2nd day already and she is okay :) I'm feel really bad because I never pui until my beloved baby boy.. :'( I'm sorry.. And well.. You took 2 pictures of yourself with the penguin for me.. I wanted u to take more because I will feel VERY HAPPY!! After all the tiring days I finally smile and be happy.. But I said please and you wouldn't do it for me... Nvm bah.. Thanks anyway.. I just feel like crying and hugging u and cry.. My heart very pain actually but no one knows.. Hubby I love you okay ? <3 and I'm sorry

Missing you

I am crying now :'( I miss u I don't wanna end the conversation but we had to.. :( I really don't want.. Please talk to me I really wanna talk to u.. :( I love you hubby :) I really do.. I know we can always talk tomorrow.. :) I hope you're happy that u finally can access Internet.. I know you're sad somehow u just never tell me but I can feel it.. I will talk to u tomorrow hubby :) I love you.. Nite nite :) muakcxxxxx!

Why wor?

Why at this time you wanna fight? I don't understand lo honestly.. Just because of what I wanna wear also can fight so long? :( Aiyoo not like I wanna show also.. I lazy to fight la i wanna love you la.. Why cannot? Very hard meh? :'(

Haih :(

Also 1 hour 30 minutes already la :( haih he also never find me.. I bet he is watching movie la playing comp la but I'm alone here waiting like a crazy woman.. :( nvm lo maybe to him everything also more important than me.. I very sad la.. Forget it bah I give him one chance I call 3 times if he no answer means he don't love me ady already la..

3:30 am

Well I'm not asleep yet.. And I've been thinking a lot while watching my Chinese drama.. And I've been thinking if really one day I can marry him :) maybe he thinks that I don't have much trust in him and all.. But I do, I just hope he won't let me down.. He don't have anyone left.. His dad hurts his feelings.. His siblings don't treat him very good.. Only his mum that he loves most.. And I know He is only hoping that I can understand him.. Not that I don't understand you it's sometimes I angry and I can't control my temper.. I'll try my best to control I told myself ady.. Anyway I really hope that I can marry you hubby.. I will try my best to be the best wife.. Sorry ya if I ever done anything wrong.. I'll really love you forever.. :) I love you.. I hope one day I can wear a beautiful gown like below.. :')

Happy 9 Months Texting Anniversary Hubby!

We finally texted for 9 months can you see how fast time flies? :) it's super fast.. And he is so sweet he lied saying he is going to see his teacher but he spend his time and texted me :) hehe but luckily I already prepared just waiting for time to strike.. Hubby, I really hope we can last forever I want us to be the forever couple because you're the guy I want! I'm really happy he didn't forget.. I Love You Hubby! Muakxxxx!

It hurts you know?

Yes I did say you wanna play you can play.. Maybe you never think of my feelings.. I wanna play also u don't let la right, why you can represent school? Haih nvm la you can do what you like.. What I can do is just cry because it hurts.. You left me with tears :'(

Badminton ?

I'm actually not in the mood for anything and you said you wanna play for school ?! Haih nvm la as you wish because if I say no you'll be sad but if I say yes you'll be too happy.. So you chose is the best.. You play I'll just be sad and keep quite but if you don't play I'll be happy :) that's me ! If you really wanna join school team go ahead.. You happy enough already.. For the first time on Saturday you do sports and leave me alone.. Is BADMINTON that important??? I don't know la your wish..

Goodnight

Well today me and you had a great and smooth conversation till my head starts to bleed.. I was so scared and panic but I'm sure I'll be okay :) so I told him not to worry.. He told me he heart sick cause I like that means he love me a lot lo :) and I'm happy even
It hurts but I'm still happy.. I hope every night we will have happy conversations.. Nite dear, I love you!!

Happy-Sad

Well I was so happy and exited to talk to you and what happened? :( I seriously can't tahan anymore.. I called thinking wanna tell you the story of Ombak Rindu :) cause its a really nice movie but what happen? I called somehow it end the call.. I keep call like a crazy woman.. Finally I send you a message and you only reply "ok" ??? What the hell was that? If I reply like that you also not happy la!! I am having bad gastric since quite sometime.. Aiya whatever la also no one care for me.. 我想去死！if you realize nowadays you reply my text quite slow but eventually I'll get use to it.. Thanks for those pain..

4:00 am

Today we fight a lot and I am really very sad.. So sad that I just wanna cry all I want and hide in a place where no one can see me or find me.. I very sad very disappointed.. Why I sick he can forget? Why he protect that girl? Why? Am I really not good enough hubby? Why can't you promise me what I want you to promise? Is it that hard? Nvm bah.. I how sick I will still love you, text you, spend time with you and write about you :) cause i am sure I love you much more than you love me.. I just hope tomorrow you will win and be champion okay? Wish you all the best dear!! Hope we can live happily ever after.. I'm tired of fighting I hope you'll be much more concern about me :) Ai Si Ni :) muakxxxxx!!