2/11/2012

Today is her birthday. Today is not a good day. Today is a sad day. Today sucks. My life is so different now.. Never see Yee Lan happy again. Never see her smile sincerely.. Never get to see the hyper me.. I've changed to be quite, antisocial and hiding what I feel inside.. It hurts so much that I could take a knife and stab my heart an say bye to the world. I get sad everyday. When will this drama stop? Because of drama my life has changed and even me. Pleas just come back and safe my poor heart..

19/10/2012

I thought I was strong enough to face this but it turns out to be I'm not strong enough.. You chose to hurt me I don't mind, but I hope I'll get back your love.. I hope during this time we are not close you won't find someone else to replace me and also keep being loyal to me.. I really very San fu.. But if you still don't care I understand.. Hope you are happier now..

Hubby

If you're reading this let me tell you this, recently you've become someone else you always say you love me I believe but nowadays you get angry easily.. Just because of one word I said "haihhhh" then you started a fight :( I don't wanna answer you cause it will be worse.. I'm already very stress and having difficulty in this relationship.. You make it harder everyday.. Hard till I barely can breath.. Breathing is so hard when I'm hurt by you.. But why I keep holding on because I believe you love me.. But I really can't tolerate your attitude.. Every night when I am going to bed I think why am I so stupid to wait hoping you'll change for me but you didn't and you won't.. Why I become like that because of all the hurting you cause me.. My eyes soon getting blind.. Problem with breathing because my spine is compressing my lungs.. And yet you don't understand me :( I've tried my best to be the best I can be but it doesn't seem to work.. I feel useless I feel nothing but I'm not giving up! Cause I still believe you love me.. If you're gonna continue to be like that then there is not guarantee :( let's hope you'll change for me :( i love you hubby! Muakxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx!!

Fucking hate my life

So nice taking girls home right? Sohaiiii seriously.. Never care of my feelings.. You watch out la next time I can drive I purposely drive boys back.. So syokkkk right? Fuck you! I seriously hate you so much that I'm not gonna talk to you.. Mother fucker keep hurt me like shit.. You go fuck yourself and go fuck whoever you want! Not interested anymore! Sohaiiii treat you how good also no use cause for you one girl is not enough.. From today I'm so gonna be bad to you! Mother sohaiiii from don't know where! Fuck yourself hurting me like some bitch!!! So fuxking gonna remember this! So bloody hurt by you.. I just wish I can like get out from this universe and never appear again.. So you'll know how it feels.. Fuck you! Fuck all those bitches out there!!!

So like girls go get tons la! Don't wanna give a fuck anymore!

Free lesson now :)

Yesterday we fought and I was really sad actually the worse part is everytime I'm sad you get sad too and when you get sad you'll start to say stuff like I chat with guys and stuff it's actually like you're saying things that don't even happen.. Why you say stuff that wanna hurt me huh? I don't actually understand but nvm la just because I love you, I'll have to tolerate all your other bad sides.. Let's hope you'll be a better guy..

My wrong?

What did I do to deserve the way you're treating me right now? Did I do anything wrong to deserve this? Why suddenly become like that? I didn't know eat must be fast and I can't enjoy my meal.. I didn't know I can be this hurt by you.. I became so strong that I wouldn't cry in school but suddenly my teardrop dripped and I felt so unloved by you it's like you want what I must do it for you :( i am so sad.. I will always remember what u say and what promises you made when u say you want me back but I guess every word you say you forgot and just act like you don't know.. I'm so sad but I'll keep it to myself..

I've made a decision :)

I finally made up my mind :) I'm so happy that everything is cleared so I don't have to worry so much.. I have decided ^^ happy happy :) lalalalalalalalala